Tiny Dots

Lately I'm this: "..."
When you see me, this: "!"
I'm striving for this: "."

I guess being despondent and my fumbling attempt through this stage of my life is sort of normal, then...

"I can do everything through him who gives me strength." —Phil 4:13

Pardon My Joy

Years ago, when a friend visited me during Christmas, we would go to the Stanford church to attend the Christmas mass there. It was quite a spectacle, what with all the candlelights, prayers, and chorus music. It was very "holy". At the same time, I didn't know what the big deal was in that quiet hall, where everyone looked very pious and serious.

Shouldn't Christmas be...merry?

A few days ago, my older brother asked me where church meets this Sunday so he could take his kids there. I felt a sense of joy as I detected a sense of envy coming from him. Wow...my brother waming up to my faith...to Christ the Savior!

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Unstoppable Batonism

Ize gotz tagged.

By the way you may be tagged so be forewarn.

I'll start this with the parable of the mustard seed that Jesus taught specifically about faith. Jesus ever the masterful teacher uses a pretty nice imagery of something like a tiny seed growing into a large tree.

Most of us are familiar with that parable. I've even paraphrased it...as in "i'll plant the seed and watch it grow...and grow...and grow...yeehaw!" I've even used it in filmschool, where we were taught in screenwriting to introduce a plot twist or a new nefarious character subtly. Again planting seed...pretty common metaphor.

Of course in biblical stories a one-two-liners could in fact span over a period of time. In this case a seed takes time to grow. Who knows how long it took for the mustard seed to grow into this tree where even birds can perch on it.

A Question To Be Answered

Q: Is Unstoppable that seed?
A: Unfortunately as the way it was communicated Unstoppable is not that seed. More like asking for a grown tree in terms of the timeline. (For such details read the the Unstoppable brochure. Running the numbers means something like $64000/week of tithing for the next 3 years. (($10mil/52)/3))

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Second Quarter Review

Following some highlights of the weekend, I'll blog a bit about the second quarter. (Here's the writeup of the first quarter.)

The highlights of the weekend...

- after driving up and down the 152 East for more than eight years while living in LA, I finally visited Casa de Fruta. It's a conglomerate for Casa de anything. My favorite is sampling the food, although Sands would say it's gross.
- played bocce with Sandy, Jimmy, Lauren. We were ever the gentleman, letting the girls win of course. Altough you wouldn't know that from this version.
- saw fireworks in Cupertino. We brought with us (again with Jimmy and Lauren) blanket and lawn chair. We ended up sitting on the driveway of Citibank, a bright halogen light blasting our face. If I squinted hard enough I could make out the fireworks, which lasted about fifteen minutes.

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Some Thoughts On Recent NY Trip

As a service to these "footballers", what do you say of us performing a "washing of the feet" for these players in the upcoming World Cup in Beijing—Fifa World Cup Feet Washing Service. As Sandy would point out to my niece Lauren, "uncle goofy."

Okay...moving on: as wonderful as New York was, it is good to be back here. I can't imagine ME finding much spirituality with all the rampant materialism in New York. Wide indeed is the gate—a very enticing gate—of New York City.

Not to say that spirituality doesn't exist there. While we were there, Sandy was able to "by chance" hook up with some of her old church friends (5th Home?) from Cali who had decided to move to New York. It's too bad I didn't meet up with them and talk to them, in retrospect, to see how living in NY has work on their perspectives of things.

Some churches in midtown New York are wonderful old type churches that are surrounded by modern business type buildings. It felt out of place, like an afterthought. Of course that was not the case as these newer buildings were build around these churches.

I miss our church here, even if it is mobile.

2005 Tax Refund And First Three Months: Where I Am Today?

Finally after a little over a month I got my 2005 Federal tax refund in the mail yesterday. In our modern electronic filing day-and-age, to get a refund back after more than 30 days is...well...the whole process just seems so antiquated. I could have use TurboTax to e-file but Sandy will do her's tonight and will probably file it that way. We share the software and only one e-filer at a time.

Oddly enough today I had to go to my nearest BofA to make a deposit. I don't remember the last time I actually had to do that. Incredible!

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Too Many Ministries

There is so much going on right now I feel in terms of church activities. Relationally I'm so blessed with Sandy for her support in these ministries as well as meeting new folks and kids. But my only complaint is that I'm spreading myself too thin and I feel like I don't know if I am as effective with more rather than less ministry.

Busyness is self glorification masquerading as service rendered to God. (Pastor Dave)

For those considering where they would fit into what ministry that is appropriate for them any advice would be good. That is how do you know which ministry to serve? One where you enjoy or one where you feel you can be effective? Here are the list of my ministries and my thoughts of them. Okay some of these are more volunteer than ministries but...

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I Saw An Angel

I saw an angel, of that I am sure.

On fruits, of this I am sure.
Conversing over a sautee dish somewhere in Channing Way
"We are more like peer to peer," she said.
I can see from her face reflected on Laura's face.
Shaped by friendships of times past
Rooted in love which does not detract.
"You will always be her discipler," I said.
Of that I am sure
Because your love is pure.

Happy third hun!

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Mona Lisa Smile

There's a story I tell about my first time meeting Mr. Lee. We drove up in my car. I am a little nervous as expected. I turned to look at him on the passenger side. He turned to look my way. I think he saw me, you know, five seconds has gone by. Just to make sure I waved at him and smiled. I don't think the wave registered with him since he just turned and looked the other way. I turned to Sandy on my right. I'm sure she saw the confused look on my face. She was simply playing it cool and smiled. Me I'm ready to cry. As we get out of the car I expected the entire family to burst out laughing and Sandy would wink at me and say, "haha...we're just kidding with ya."

I mean I didn't expect Mr. Lee to jump for joy and to give me a big hug while fanfare music plays in the background. It's just that he seemed indifferent about it. (I'm sure he was just being cautious, maybe a little skeptical about meeting the guy who's dating his daughter.)

He's just a reserved kind of guy. But mostly tight-lipped.

What a contrast compared to my dad. He is always smiling when friends visit. Sometimes I'm a little embarrassed cause I think he's trying too hard. But no that's not the case. He's just friendly, easy going. As far as I know most of my friends walk away feeling comfortable.

In regards to smiles it's amazing how one's facial expression can affect others. And well as far as I am concerned Sands has one of the best smiles I have ever seen. And that folks is good enough for me.

The Gift from God

This has been a very special Christmas season for me. This is the first year where I felt blessed by God first with putting me at the right place and the right time to meet my sweetie Sandy. He also blessed me with work where I can commute within a ten minute drive and friendly co-workers/managers. I feel like God has answered many of my prayers (a great community and church, friends and a ministry where I can serve.) That's why this is the first year where I see Christmas as a time to give back because Christ has given me so much.

This year the Nativity scene that is set up in my neighborhood has a more personable meaning. God came down to our level as a tiny vulnerable little baby in a manger and declared all who have faith in Him righteous, and to a restored relationship with God.

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First Fight

Last night I've officially became a GRX Hoops Ministry committee member. What's there not to love combining both basketball and God. So I'm excited about this as well as looking forward to serve God through this ministry. Let me be one among many who give a shout out to Euge for believing in me and bringing me onboard in the first place. Dude you know you lead through your quiet examples...as testified by wuboy and drew. Definitely looking forward to this.

Aside from being welcomed into the committee and having a wonderful meal at Mark's place it was refreshing to have all the guys shared both struggles and praises, all for the glory of God. So taking this initiative I would also like to share my struggle with my new relationship with my girlfriend and specifically time management.

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Rain

Please be careful in your commute today. I know I'm not your parents but there are some ominous looking clouds ahead. Windy and rainy, rainy and windy. Do drive carefully yo! If you're the few lucky ones who get to telecommute today do heat up a hot cup of chocolate and enjoy—for me!

Does anyone know of any talent competitions? I know this is silly (and cheesy) but my sweetie could recite all sixty six books of the Bible. Sweetie what comes after the Book of Obadiah? Haha. Not only that but at the end of it all she has the cutest smile. Me I cannot even remember all the NT books. But I do know that all the "Ts" bunches together.

I miss basketball. The other day I ran with Sandy for two miles and I thought my lungs would collapse. So we do the ellipticals and even that was difficult. Guys lets get back in shape: pickup bball at Sony/Altera. Wuboy make something happen already. Get your contacts, get a game, lets run!

To my friends in SoCal are you excited about this weekends matchup between UCLA and USC? When I was at SC during rivalry week the students walked around campus with a bear tied to a string that was dragged around. These bears looked really sad and pathetic, especially when they were dragged in the rain. NOT COOL!

UCLA at USC 12.03 1:30pm PT on channel 7 (KGO/ABC).

GO BRUINS!!!

Next Stop Wonderland

My heart I could not trust
' Cause it lies to me too much
And my mind just couldn't
Understand it all

Sometimes when you pray for something so bad and you get it. Then you don't know what to do with it. Do you ever get that feeling? I think my mind is just trying to process it all...I am sooo ready for it though. I know it will be good if not great. Scary...but exciting!

Stumbling in the dark
Now I need you here to be my vision

You took my heart and you changed it
With your words of life
You took my eyes and you opened them
And gave me sight&mdash (Blind Third Day)

God is Good

I remembered a conversation I had awhile back with a non-Christian that struck me today. It went something like God is powerful, don't mess with Christians, etc., even though my friend obviously at that point in his life wasn't (and isn't) a Christian.

“God is good all the time all the time God is good.” I'm paraphrasing a Christian song I think and also if God is for us who can be against us. Sometimes we need to realize this even though our days may suck big times and we find ourselves thinking, "God are you even there?" But our God is a powerful God whether we "see" it or not. And when we do receive His blessings it makes you want to— I don't know fill in the blanks for appropriate awed emotions.

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Reflections About Willow Creek SGC

When I first decided to attend the conference it was merely a way to get out of the office, a chance to grow closer to the cores of my small group, and to attend a FREE conference!

Something different happened while I was there. In the span of 3 days my attendance at Willow Creek Conferences became more of a personal and spiritual journey. It was as if God's purpose for me in those three days was to open my soul up to yearn for a deeper community with God and brothers and sisters in Christ. I didn't realize it but deep inside I long for that intimacy.

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Nice Day For A Run

Winding winding heart is beating
He thinks, "The sky is great why not a run?"
Exhilarating slowly don't push too hard
Hold the pace greet the nice man
He says, "Hi!"
Curving beating melodic footsteps
God I can hear you
This is true running imploding into
His thoughts...HIS thoughts are higher THAN your thoughts.
Mind wandering black hawk gliding
The easy green of freshly cut grass
Competing thoughts competing visages overly wrought
Jangling keys jumbled thoughts
Overlapping steps
Melodic like the beating of my heart

I went for a lunch run from a friend's place to Shoreline parking lot and back. Never before have I run at this pace (13 min mile). Weird how at a much slower pace how people share a gentle smile and enthusiastic wave, urging you on...only much slower than what I'm used to running at before. However a humbling experience. What a beautiful day for a run. Thank you God.

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7:45 AM Walk With My Dad

I took a morning walk with my dad today. It's been what more than a month since we took our regular morning walks. And when I got in the rental cars (dad's car is in the shop) to drive to the local park K-LOVE 91.9 FM was playing on the radio. Two thoughts came to mind: did I drove this car and set the radio station to 91.9 FM? Did my dad knowing that I like this station purposely set it to 91.9 FM before our drive to the park?

Sitting here this quiet morning in my office and thinking about this morning I thank God for that. I also for the few times that I remembered thinking about heaven and how nice it would be that my dad is in heaven with me. Perhaps this morning is my dad's way of letting me know that he's been thinking about my faith. Perhaps God is hearing my prayers and planting seeds in my dad.

In any case the songs that are played on K-LOVE are much nicer and easier also for my dad to understand say compared to K-101 or KOIT. And if he runs errands or goes to visit my sister just imagine the opportunities that one of those songs will touch my dad's heart and allow him the chance to ask me about Christ. That would be something.

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Intervention

This song Intervention by Madonna was playing on my iPod™ today, repeatedly for awhile now. And when I opened my Bible after returning from my lunch swim, God showed me this passage.

"³¹ And they said, Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved, and thy house." (Acts 16:31 KJV. NIV vers here.)

Sometimes I can get affected watching moving images or listening to a meaningful song. The images of the hurricane victims felt so surreal, thus removed from my daily experience. I felt disconnected from various news feed and coverages on TV. But somehow listening to Intervention brought some sense of relevance back, made the plights of the people in New Orleans more immediate and here.

In the blink of an eye everything
could change

And I know that love
Will change us forever
And I know that love
Will keep us together
And I know, I know
There is nothing to fear
And I know that love
Will take us away from here

Receiving the "baton" from reading Wuboy, I'm passing it onto: whomever.

Eight Months Later

I'm not a believer of taking baby steps. I'd guess it depends on the situation but in general I'm more of a trial-by-fire type of guy. But lately it feels like I might be overextending just a bit — becoming core, taking leadership training classes, heading off to the mid-west for a conference, and training for my first marathon. Oh yeah...bring it!

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Boot Camp Wk 3

My feelings about leadership in general and spiritual leadership specifically is that it is an elusive quality. When I'm talking about characteristics of leaderships I compare it to "chemistry" in a relationship. Reason being in my life I haven't had much care or put that much thought into becoming a leader. If you're interested there are a giganormous number of books out there that will help on this topic.

A good example of someone in my life who has been a great leader is my high school badminton coach. Miss Buzdeiker — we used to call her "Buzz" — was a tough, disciplined, morally upright, warm, humorous, a genuinely caring person.

She saw in me what most people don't see at that lanky age of 14. She took me under her tutelage and pushed me hard to train, to not giving up believing in me, and to encourage me when the chips are down.

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What If

There's a song on Coldplay's X&Y album called What If that got me to think back to what appropriately was approximately over a half year ago.

About half year ago, on January 2nd I got a called from an ex-coworker reminding me to visit GrX.

Every step that you take
could be your biggest mistake
It could bend or it could break
Thats the risk that you take

What if I never went through a difficult break up with my ex? Would I ever admit to God that I need help to get my life back on track?

What if my ex-coworker never called me and I never made the decision to go to GrX and I continued to attend the church in Foster City?

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Boot Camp Wk 2

Second week of boot camp. Topic du jour: "How to Develop and Lead a Great Bible Study." Yah not the easiest subject and of course coming from Dave everything seems easy. (Note: Dave is the Lead pastor, very enthusiastic, and I think he studied theology and have gone to Fuller Theological Seminary (thanks Wuboy for the correction) Talbot School of Theology in SoCal.)

What did I learn given that we only have 1.5 hours to unpack and deconstruct this topic? Here are what I got from the class.

1. Methods
Two ways to approach breaking down a passage:
A. study the heck out of it. (Dave took 6 hours to come up with two study questions for the passages in Luke 23:26-49)
B. rely on commentaries and experts (G. Fee/D.Stuart)

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Growing In Christ

I have been feeling like an island at work, not really sharing on spending time with my co-workers. Specifically Thurs. at work used to be Hoop thursday. It's a chance to play hoops and bond with the guys here at work.

Until pride got in the way.

** Disclaimer ** It's okay. I'm not gossiping per se as I've prayed to God about it as well as to spoken to my Christian friends about it. Still I can't help thinking how my feelings and pride got in the way of reconciliation and forgiveness. Or rather is seems much easier to come to terms with "bridge building" when both parties are on the "same page".

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Shoe Stories

What do you think shoes would say about their owners if they could talk? Someone at GrX proposed this question and made a short video to introduce a new seven week series on Authenticity, the Journey of Recovery.

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GrX Missions Worship Night

Awhile back I had a discussion with my brother about Hotel Rwanda. He mentioned what a privilege we have living in the US. He qualified this statement by saying how his friends were shocked that he doesn't lock his door sometimes when he's running his errands. Contrasted that with the poverty and tension in some of these third world countries and my brother and I are both glad for our middle class existence here.

We complained about our state of affairs here, yet there are people who live in shanties and walk up and down dirt roads. These are the conditions that some of the people at GrX will have to deal with as they're heading to various places to serve God on their short term missions. Some of the missions are in Mongolia, China, Thailand, and Mexico. I know some of the missionaries that are going, too.

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Lessons from Memorial Days

So the long weekend is over and it left me thinking about friendships and community. Friendships since a recent conversation was about my lasting frienships with a couple of high school buds. Our friendships go back to 20 years. There is something nice about that, like we have endured the silliness and now we can just sit down to serenely catch up on things without a need to compare status quo. Gone are the days when we tried to one-upped each others.

Instead we have gotten to a point where we can just listen about what's going on in our lives — renovating the house, our fallen idealism of our so-called educareer, gardening, pets, hobbies that keep our life interesting AND sane, relationships, home (home is where the heart is), and our ongoing friendships. Call me a sentimentalist but I would love to be stuck on an island with these group of buds, something to bbq, and some interesting conversations.

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One-upmanship

We live in a culture that is one-up all the time. One-upmanship leads to corporations like Enron, Worldcom and ImClone. On a smaller scale one-upmanship leads to unhealthy interest in material goods (keeping up with the Joneses), backstabbing at the office, and the level of competitiveness in sports.

Take our GrX Hoops league. We Christians can be "oh so civilized" off the court, but get us on the court and it's a different story. Basic Christians concept such as mercy doesn't really apply when the final score tallied 85 to 28. On our team, one of the most competitive guy is our home church's Pastor Andy.

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Thoughts on Sith

** NOTE: SPOILERS AHEAD. PLEASE DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THIS FILM.

Ah...yes the many discontinuity problems that arises when you analyze this film. I saw it Sat. morning with some friends who works at Adobe and got a private screening. The opening scene was amazing, visually stunning but leaves you feeling cold and empty--all eye candy. Personally I find it overwhelming.

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Life on life...

Yo fellow bloggers...

Last time I blogged it was mostly me talking about how I seemed somewhat drifted — alright completely drifted from my walk with the Lord.

Fast forward to today and well I can say I'm opening myself up now and revealing my thoughts and praying more to God. What allowed this is just self discipline...which I have to confess I'm not very good at. Sometimes, as a young Christian I feel that God isn't around like my parents (or in this case my dad) to discipline me if I misbehaved.

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Spiritual time

Have you ever noticed that your walk with God suffers when you're busy and your schedules take up ALL your time.

I missed having quiet time with the Lord where I can just have peace and quiet and concentrate on discerning His will for me. I noticed that lately I have been slipping spiritually, not reading Scripture and praying as often.

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